This article is from Eternal Perspective Ministry‘s winter newsletter. It was written by T.E. McCulley, father of Ed McCully, one of the four martyred with Jim Elliot in Ecaudor. I continue to be amazed by these five men who died without ever beginning their “work” with the Aucas and yet accomplished more in the lives of both Auca and so many others than they probably ever imagined. God’s ways are truly not our ways.

“On November 9, almost six years from the day Aucas slew his son with four other missionaries in Ecuador, T. E. McCully of Wheaton, IL, visited the Aucas in their own village. He wanted to personally visit the tribe who had confessed their guilt in slaying the missionaries—all of whom now confessed belief in Christ. Four Auca women said that the missionaries could have shot down the Auca men and saved their lives. I believe they reasoned thusly: ‘If we shoot the Aucas, we will send them to hell; if they spear us, they will send us to glory.’ These five brave men said more. ‘If we shoot the Aucas, we will put missionary work hundreds of years behind.’ If one had been shot, it is doubtful if the Aucas would have been reached with the gospel. I believe these five said more than this. ‘Lord Jesus Christ, Thou eternal Son of God, maker of heaven and earth, if You loved us enough to die for us, surely we ought to love You enough to die for You.’ These five young men, though dead, are speaking and saying to us ‘How much do you love the Lord Jesus Christ? Do you love Him enough to die for Him?’ Oh, He may not ask us to die for Him. But do we love Him enough to live for Him? Do we love Him enough to be faithful to Him? As we prepared to leave the Aucas, they followed us to the airstrip. Rachel interpreted as I offered a word of prayer for the Aucas. I thanked God for the privilege of visiting these people whose lives had been changed by the gospel— the gospel that had been given to them by Betty Eliott and Rachel Saint, two brave soldiers of the cross. It may never be my privilege to see the Aucas again on this earth, but because five young men believed it was better to die with a conviction than to live with a compromise, I shall walk the streets of gold with the men who killed my son and his four colleagues.”

My heart is to reach children.

Nyahuka village, Bundibugyo, Uganda is an amazing place to do that.

Childhood is not closely guarded and protected there. As young as eighteen months old, you see them wandering up to the road to watch a passing vehicle, their tummies distended, their bodies completely naked. The little girls are the property of any boy or man who wishes to explore them. The little boys a victim of their culture’s definition of manhood; one who dominates. Children are routinely underfed, undernourished and underloved.

These little helpless ones are the cherished desire of our Father’s heart. In a breathtaking new book, Too Small to Ignore; Why Children are the Next Big Thing, Wes Stafford (the president of Compassion International) powerfully proclaims the worth of children. And the strategic importance of reaching them with the gospel.

For me, the opportunity to touch a village full of hurting children is a dream come true. To be able to reach out with His love and compassion and meet their need for hope will be amazing. I can’t wait . . .

But for each of us, there is no need to wait for a village of African children. God has given us children everywhere we look. All of these children, American and African and every other nationality, need hope. We have HOPE , will we share it?? Try a smile, a handshake or hug, some respectful conversation. Ask a child in your life to share something important about their day or their dreams. Tell them about the God you know, if not through words, through your actions.

Let your actions tell them about the living God who desires relationship with us, who loves us with an endless love, forgives us with endless grace, and shows us endless mercy. If you want to know how to treat the kids in your lives, look at the way God treats you. We are His children, the apple of His eye, His most precious possession. And He treats us as such . . . .

If you’re anything like me you’ll feel unable to love the children, the people, in your life with Christ-likeness. That’s where trust comes in, and dependence. God knows how to make us into people who bring genuine hope in the lives around us. Let’s just tell Him where we are, and ask Him to change us into who we need to be.

Does it surprise you that perhaps a good fifty percent of the time, I really DON’T want to go to Africa?? Not that I am not committed one hundred percent to going, but that my FEELINGS waver.

The reactions to our calling range from disbelief and distress to awe and amazement to understanding. I have a hard time explaining to those around me that though I am THRILLED to be on this path, it is not something I have EVER wanted. And for those that I express myself to, the knowledge that I am not gung ho to go is a bit concerning. Why don’t we do something else if this is not what we really want??

This IS our path . . . . We are sure of it. We know this is where God is leading us. We are confident of the decision, the process, and our calling. And it brings us GREAT joy. But let me tell you it is not all delight.

What brings me joy: the knowledge that God is speaking to ME, to US and that we are hearing Him; having certainty about the next step; intimacy with God; a purpose filled life; seeing so many experiences, gifts and desires coming together in one big destiny; the opportunity to touch the neediest on a daily basis; license to preach the good news every moment of every day because it’s our JOB!; seeing God move in amazing ways; the greatness of the challenge; all that our children will gain

What tempers my joy: the sheer, hard work involved in pursuing an intimate relationship with God (the only way we will survive the intensity of this experience); violence, disease, isolation; cultural barriers; constant, draining ministry; distance from family and friends; distance from great preaching and worship; our complete inadequacy to the task; the pain that we will embrace constantly; all that our children will lose

It’s the two sides to the coin. It’s realism. It’s faith, right?? The belief that this is GOOD and that we choose it because He has first chosen it for us, despite the fear, and the pain. The knowledge that great things are never easy, that great rewards never come without great costs, that our lives will be infinitely bigger and yet smaller than we can imagine.

Our lives will be GOOD, better than ever and our lives will be HARD and painful, harder and more painful than ever before. Can you empathize with my mixed emotions?

I love the way a worship song expresses it:

It’s all about you . . . Jesus
And all this is for you
For your glory and your fame
It’s not about me . . .
As if you should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender . . . To your ways

So my mom (who God seems bent on using to influence my spiritual journey these days!!) lets me borrow a book she has just been given. It’s the story of a missionary couple who work in Mozambique and the incredible revival that has been going on there. It is truly an amazing story of God’s power in the face of incredible spiritual and material poverty and disease. This couple has a radical all-out ministry bringing God’s power into the lives of those who need it the very most. They are not church planters per se neither are they called to holistic ministry. They simply reach out to individuals one at a time with the love of God. They go out into streets, garbage dumps, homes of prostitution. They meet people who are dying, people who wish they would die. They don’t come with a great plan, with food or supplies or Bible, they come instead with prayer, with worship, with the preaching of God’s word. And God provides all the rest.

These people have seen God do miracles that we have never begun to ask for; healings, feedings, raising from the dead. God has reached an amazing number of Mozambique hearts through His power. Power not to do the great things, but to give joy where there is nothing to be joyful about, except Him. These people remain impoverished, oftentimes remain ill, remain stranded in terrible conditions by natural disasters, remain scarred by horrible pasts. But the Lord has filled them up and they lack for nothing; they are full of His joy.

I have been changed by this book. Have begun to grasp the greatness of God’s power and the lack of faith that we have. Have begun to understand that all we bring to others is access to Him. And that HE is always enough, for everything. We don’t need anything else.

Read Always Enough. Moving moutains is over rated, moving hearts to know Him is what it’s all about.

A while back I wrote a post titled “loneliness, fear = isolation?”. Within a few days of that email and all the talking to God that went along with it, I received a very specific answer.

For those of you who never read that earlier post, forgot it, and/or are not willing to go back and read or reread it: the gist was that the isolation of the Ugandan village we are going to was pretty difficult for me to contemplate long term. I say was. It still is difficult to contemplate but I choose not to. That, however, is not the answer to my fears!

I have been reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called “Keep a Quiet Heart”. It’s a collection of articles that she wrote for her newsletter. Although I initially almost returned it, when I got back from Uganda I picked it up while doing my devotions. God used her writing numerous times during those first few weeks post trip to confirm what He was asking of me.

From that text, just a few days after I realized that my greatest fear was the isolation and how I would react to that, a few verses came to me.

“I offer you the choice of life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life and then you and your descendants will live; love the Lord your God, obey him, and hold fast to him: that is life for you.” Deuteronomy 30:19,20

Let me just be clear in saying that I do not think that God will kill me or curse me if I do not go to Uganda!! But rather that this IS what God has for me, for us, and that in choosing to obey it despite some apparent downsides (isolation, for example) we will be choosing life the very best of life for us. He does not ask us to do what will be wrong for us. I do not have to question (as I was) whether I should obey or not based on how strong or able I am.

and also:

” The Lord your God will cross over at your head . . . he will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not be discouraged or afraid.” Deuteronomy 31:3,8

And Elisabeth Elliot wrote: ” In order to get to a place called Laity Lodge in Texas, you have to drive into a riverbed. The road takes you down a steep, rocky hill into a canyon and straight into the water. there is a sign at the water’s edge which says, “Yes. You drive in the river.”

One who has made up his mind to go to the uttermost with God will come to a place as unexpected and perhaps looking as impossible to travel as that riverbed looks. He may glance around for an alternative route, but if he wants what God promises His faithful ones, he must go straight into the danger. There is no other way.

The written word is our direction. Trust it. Obey it. Drive in the river and get to Laity Lodge.”

Need I say more?? I am already on the way to “Laity Lodge” or rather Nyahuka Village, Bundibugyo, Uganda. And I couldn’t be more excited to be going. I know that in agreeing to the difficulties of the next thing God is giving us, we are also choosing all the joys. In accepting the costs we are also expecting great rewards (what they may look like we do not know!) It’s all about trust, about dependence, about faith that HE is – and that He is enough.