We do small groups here at MTI where we study biblical topics together. We’ve been studying God’s holiness, faithfulness, love, majesty. What has come across in each of these topics is the idea that God is truly outside of our understanding. He is beyond it - surpasses it. We can’t wrap our minds around Him. We think of things that express His majesty and imagine towering snow-capped mountains which he created. Merely an echo of his majesty. We imagine the faithfulness of Hosea towards his prostitute wife and see, again just a faint symbol of the endless faithfulness of our God. When we think of things that are Holy, we think of things set apart. Yet God is set apart in a way that we cannot even fathom. The only thing that exists that was not created, which had no beggining and no end.

And yet He is a personal God. He is our loving Daddy. He is our husband and lover. He created the heavens and measured them out with his fingers and yet He knows each aspect of each of His kids’ hearts and loves us more intimately than anyone else ever could. He is amazing God.

We think of God’s economy as we fund-raise, as we friend-raise. Sounds so easy to perhaps use the money from the sale of our cars, or house, or other belongings to provide for our one time needs. But that is not the way God is asking us to do it. He is asking us to be dependent, to be humble, to wait on His timing. To catch a glimpse of His economy. Where money is not a means to an end, but a part of a process that is going on in our hearts. In God’s economy it’s not whether you spend it, save it, or give it. It’s an ongong awareness and appreciation that money is not our own. Money holds such a powerful place in our hearts and lives and yet God wants to show us that money is just one more way to connect our hearts. He knows how closely we hold it, how tightly we grasp it. And He uses that to build relationship into ministry.

It would also be easy for us to get focused on how to get just a little more and a little more money so that soon we could get to our ministry. But fund-raising IS ministry. God has given us a precious opportunity to share HIS ministry in Uganda with many, many American Christians. Through us, He is giving them a chance to see Him work in ways they have not seen before. To see Him provide in ways they did not think possible. And as we struggle along in our journey of dependence, He is showing them through us, what it looks like to be held by His right hand. Ever children, ever safe.

Wednesday morning we arrived in the training room only to be ordered into two separate groups (husbands and wives were separated), told not to speak to each other and brought down to the basement of the facility. There my group (of 14) was ordered into a large cardboard box and told to stay there and await instructions. We all crammed into the box. We spent the next part of the morning in there, listening to our radio, trying to coordinate with the other group for escape, all the while the sounds of gunfire ricocheted around us. Towards the end we had to select first two, then two more of our group for execution. Several in the group sobbed as we heard gunshots (blanks) just outside our box . . . . . . shortly after that the ordeal ended.

We all knew this was a simulation from the get go, nevertheless we were asked to fully immerse ourselves in it and for most of us it brought up lots of feelings and emotions. This was the culmination of two days of conflict resolution training - - - after our hostage situation we were brought together to debrief the situation and the conflicts between individuals that developed during our captivity.

Never a dull moment here. Each day I find myself crying - God continuing to break me open in ways that are painful but important. This is not easy. It’s definitely not fun. But we are grateful that God has gifted the staff here to know how to help prepare us for the intensity of international missions. And we are so thankful for the community of fellow pre-field missionaries who join us in this experience.

I’ve gotten way behind in my blogging so you will probably be hearing about SPLICE topically rather than chronologically. To start off, SPLICE stands for Spiritual, Personal, Lifestyle/Language, Interpersonal, Cultural, Endure/Enjoy. SPLICE is the second course we are taking at Mission Training International and focuses on cross-cultural and interpersonal issues that missionaries face as they hit the field. We are the end of our second out of three weeks of SPLICE . . . . a lot has come up and the days have been emotional and exhausting.

Yesterday we talked about the stages of transition. Transition takes you from a settled place (your comfort zone) to an unsetted place (as you approach the change) and then into full blown chaos as you launch into change, back to unsettled and then settled once again into the new familiar. They approach transition using the picture of a bridge, conveying that these steps carry you from one place to another.

As I said, yesterday’s topic was Transition. And talking about transition with other pre-field missionaries was like coming home. To find others who are feeling the same emotions at many of the same levels was such a gift. For many of us we are at the end stages of unsettlement and beginning chaos. Our worlds and realities are completely changing. We can’t keep up. The facilitator asked us to list words that described chaos and suggested for those who haven’t begun to experience it yet that we pull words from the experience of the transition stage of labor which is a short term experience of chaos. Words on the board: scary, sense of anticipation, dependence, confusion, information overload, pulled in every direction, painful, breathless, helpless, never-ending, lack of control, among others.

We then went on to talk about losses, because for everyone there, chaos as they enter the field involves significant losses. We talked about the obvious losses; comforts such as food, beds, safety, healthcare, freedom. We talked about losing space in the relationships we have here and now, losing emotional investment from those we leave behind. For us that is particularly painful; some here may think that we are choosing to leave and we can feel them detaching. But for us it is not a choice we make. God has told us what to do, we trust Him and do it. It is hardest to make that choice in the knowledge that significant relationships may never recover.

I find myself crying here frequently. God is continuing to show Himself to me in new ways as He shows me myself in new ways through the experiences of significant unsettlement and chaos. I am learning more and more the depths of my desire to find safety for myself, to surround myself with what feels comfortable and secure. I realize more and more how much I try to protect myself. How hard it is on the gut level to surrender to Him. And yet I am so blessed to have Him slowly but surely continue to reveal these things and teaching me not to try to become whole, but to live in my brokenness. He IS making me whole, but it will be a lifelong process. The temptation is to live in such a way that those broken, painful, vulnerable parts of me are hidden deeply away. Safe from open air, the light, and the view of others. Yet He is calling me to something much different. He is calling me to continue to give those broken places to Him, knowing that they will remain broken, but He will redeem them. It is not through my strength that He will shine forth in me, but rather in my weakness. As I go to the Babwisi, I go as their equal; a fellow broken, hurting human with no hope in myself . . . . what could I possibly offer them?? I realize more and more that my bringing them anything is foolishness. I can only go and live among them, incarnationally ( entering their world), and letting Jesus shine out of me, a flawed human - just as they are . . . . but indwelt by His spirit, claiming his power, forgiveness, and peace.

Lubwisi, the language of Nyahuka village, is a tonal lanuage (which means one word or syllable may change meanings completely five different time depending on the tone you use). This is fun but a bit frightening. We are learning to hear tones here at PILAT.

We heard a story from one of our language trainers about a missionary who had worked with native people in Canada, writing down their tonal language and translating the Bible for them. All in all the missionary had done very well, but some trained translators had the opportunity to come in and revise his work. They found that the 23rd Psalm (one that surprisingly had not been used much by the nationals since translation) had some inaccuracies in tonal translation (just tonal) leading to this reading:

” The Lord is my Sheep-herder
He provides what I need
He comes to me by still waters
He hits me over the head
and drags me to the river.”

I was praying and worshipping tonight with a group of fellow language learners and missionaries here at MTI . . . . I had an amazing image . . . . .

Jesus, sent out by the Father, as a light to the nations; walking among them. His life laid down so that people would see God’s glory and have a way to Him. Jesus, praying in the garden, if it be your will, let me not have to do this. But I am willing.

Us, sent out by the Father, as a light to the nations, reincarnating the living Jesus as we walk among them. Our lives laid down for them so that they will see Jesus in us and come to Him. Us, ever reluctant, ever afraid, never done asking . . . God if we can, can we choose some other way to serve you. But He has made us willing.

God’s love for a forgotten and despised jungle tribe in eastern Africa is GREAT! He chooses to interrupt our comfortable, safe, secure, easy lives because He LOVES them and us so much. And He desires that none should perish but that all should come to Him in repentance.

Praise God! for the living Jesus, reincarnated in the lives of each believer as we walk among the nations proclaiming His life, his death, God’s love for us.

1) A good sense of humor.

2) A bad sense of smell.

God answered prayers in ridiculously powerful ways for us today!

Last night, through a chance conversation, we met Joni, a woman enjoying a weekend of solitude at the our conference center. She began asking us about our calling and we spent quite a while enjoying a conversation about missions, Uganda, and her local church. We sensed (as did she) that this was a divine appointment, an answer to our prayers for a church to be embraced and nurtured by during out time here. A place we could spend all four weekends at, being fed and encouraging those around us. She found us a ride, and bright and early this morning her friend Barbie showed up to take us to church. We had an incredible time hearing God’s word, lifting His name in worship, and enjoying communion with the believers at the Colorado Spring International Anglican Church. Afterwards Barbie fed us and generously stocked us up with an amazing array of healthy goodies - another great answer to prayer for improvements in health and eating!

We saw the Gospel shining forth in their lives as God showed us that through them that He cannot be out-given, or out-loved - - He is teaching us to let go and receive. God blessed us greatly today through these two women and their church. He is ever reminding us that we are His precious children, who He desires to bless. He cares about our concerns, small and large and is orchestrating even the minutia of our daily lives. Praise Him!

We are resting from language studies for the weekend and spent Saturday exploring a small slice of Colorado Springs. We spent some time at Focus on the Family. For those of you who are familiar with Adventures in Odessey, we got to tour the real Whit’s End soda shoppe and the Imagination Station, etc. Very cool!

For the afternoon we went on to visit the amazing Garden of the Gods - simply spectacular! The views here are unlike anything we have seen before. What an incredible depth there is to God’s creation!

Photos from where we are training . . . . we are at Mission Training International at a course call P.I.L.A.T. (program in language acquisition and techniques). We are learning principles and techniques that will help us in language learning. Since we are going to a Ugandan tribe that speaks a little known language called Lubwisi, we will not be attending a language school to study. There are only about 100,000 people who speak Lubwisi and it has only recently been turned into a written language. Translators are working with Lubwisi and have translated three books of the Bible so far. We will have to use immersion and work with local language helpers (i.e. anyone who will help us!) to learn Lubwisi since there is so little available. P.I.L.A.T. is designed to help train our ears to hear sounds we are not used to, our mouths to say sounds they are not used to, and our minds to understand how we best acquire languages. So far we have found it VERY helpful. We spend about half our time doing phonetics drills, learning phonetics and making new sounds unknown in the Enlish language. We also listen to lectures meant to help us understand how we acquire language, and work with language helpers to begin acquiring languages as practice for our ultimate language learning. We have been learning the Jah language (a Vietnamese tribal language) and tomorrow David will be learning some Mandarin, and I will learn some German. All of this will help us better understand how to acquire Lubwisi.

where we’re staying our view from the dining area

More on the kids experiences with language school, coming soon!