The people are omnipresent. This culture is friendly, welcoming. It is a
culture where not visiting a friend for more than two days means there is a
rift in your relationship. It is a dropping-by-often kind of culture. Here,
we frequently use a term I never used much in the States; greeting. You
greet early and often, both at home, and on the road. To have visitors here
is a way of life. It is intensely time consuming and for both of us
extremely draining.

When you receive a visitor, you must offer them a chair (most local people
have perhaps one or two chairs, which do not closely resemble those you
would be familiar with; they are very low, very slungback, and look very
likely to disintegrate when sat upon. It is also considered correct for the
host to sit on the ground or a low stool while the visitor takes the honored
chair.

Unlike in America, where you immediately say “hello, how are you?”, here you
must wait in friendly silence for the seat to come out, for the visitor to
sit, for you yourself to sit on the stool or floor. You must lean your
whole body into the person’s presence, making good eye contact and perhaps
extending your hand to embrace theirs ( and shake with the snap if you are
male) while saying “oliaeo” (first greeting of the day), “makulu?” (how is
the news) and hearing back “melembe” (peace). You’d probably add on “olio
tia?” (How are you?) and receive the response “indio”. (Please excuse my
butchering of Lubwisi spelling if you happen to be one of the rare people
who are familiar with it!!) It is so challenging to remember not to greet
people while standing there getting out their chair, or while waiting in
silence while they produce one in front of their home, but instead wait
until both of us are seated.

At this point in the visit there will usually be a long moment of silence,
without eye contact, while we build up to either the real reason for
visiting, or perhaps more friendly conversation. In our cases, a good 90%
of our visitors are coming to share with us their “small problems”, usually
regarding lack of food, medicine, mosquito netting, uniforms or books for
school, or proper shelter.

Each visit will last anywhere from perhaps 10 minutes up to several hours.
People enjoy sitting companionably, perhaps shelling soya beans, pounding
sombe, or picking rice. I am learning these simple yet novel hand skills so
that I can enjoy the long periods of sitting on the porch with others.
Working in community is rewarding and refreshing; Americans should try it.

At any point that I am greeting a visitor, there are likely to be at least
five to ten children sitting with us on the porch, taking it all in and
ready to help with whatever I might wish to do. These children love the
industry of sorting g-nuts (peanuts), and washing fruit. No matter how
hungry, they would never eat food that isn’t placed into their two
outstretched hands put together to form a little cup or bowl; the cultural
way to receive a gift.

On those Myers Briggs tests, I fall pretty evenly between introvert and
extrovert. I love people and am sociable, but am also easily exhausted by
my interactions. I don’t enjoy too much solitude and get lonely and sad,
but if I don’t have some good alone time mid day I am soon very grouchy.
Please pray for me in this area. I am simply overwhelmed by the
omnipresence of people in my life here.

I am reading a book called, ” Love Walked Among Us; learning to love like
Jesus.” (by Paul Miller). Really I feel that learning to love like Jesus
is, at least for me, my life’s calling . . . . Entering into His presence
and absorbing Him and then reaching out to others with what He offers. The
beginning of the book talks about looking at others with eyes of compassion.
I keep coming back to that, desiring that God would allow me to see others
here with His compassion, despite how numerous and painful each person’s
problems are. I don’t want to stop seeing or feeling their pain, their
difficulty - to stop hurting as they hurt and sitting in compassion at their
feet. Please pray for me in this area. Pray for me to have a soft and
vulnerable heart. Pray for me to have love I myself don’t possess. Pray
for me to Always have Enough compassion, because Jesus compassion fills me.