It’s a Wednesday, late morning, and I realize that so far this week I have already had four specific set-aside-for-prayer times with team mates, a lot in a busy schedule.
Sunday night we also had our every-so-often extended prayer time as a team, starting with singing together at 5 and going till almost midnight praying specifically over each family or individual that is part of this team and each Ugandan that each of us work in partnership with, as well as our projects. It is exhausting work but in that satisfying way that reminds us that the battle is won in the spiritual realm.
I’ve started a devotional that my mom sent; Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. Turns out that I started it just when I needed it. The second chapter deals with the spiritual attack which I have felt so acutely over the last month. The author describes Satan’s age-old tactic as consisting of the three D’s; distraction, discouragement and doubt. I think it was her description of his method of beginning with distraction that really opened my eyes. I look at the heart-mess of the last month and see how much of it stemmed from simply taking my eyes off Jesus and putting them on myself (my shortcomings) or others (their suffering or lack of progress or bad opinion of me). From that distraction of whatever takes our eyes off of Jesus and His beauty and the beauty that He created us to reflect and that He is constantly calling out in us, comes the discouragement that we feel when we are centered on our circumstances. And from that comes the doubt, not that God exists, but that He loves us, messy as we are.
When the lightening struck Christ School, our team leader commented that Satan was not being subtle enough. I felt the same way when I experienced an intensely oppressive dream last week - Satan, now you’ve crossed the line. I know this is war and I am reminded that I am equipped to fight.
Our pastor gave a great summary of spiritual armor that I still have on my fridge here in Uganda and that I read over most days:
I am Committed to truth. (Belt)
I am Accepted in the Beloved. (Breastplate)
I am Prepared with a purpose. (Shoes)
I will Resist against doubt. ( Shield)
I will Rejoice over discouragement. (Helmet)
I will Release from disobedience. (Sword of the Spirit)
The battle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritualities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world.