The house is dark and flickering in that cozy candlelit way. Outside, rain pounds down and lightening flashes so that inside we can almost touch the warmth and dryness of this place. It feels good. Food is arriving with people, a few of us joining for dinner together with Pat. There is a Ugandan woman in the shower room trying to bathe. She is very sick and shuffles as she tries to walk. Despite her bathing she doesn’t seem as clean as she might want. Her loss of dignity in sickness is apparent, even as Pat helps her to a chair, reassures her and brings her a plate of food.
Pat is a missionary here in Bundibugyo, one of our longest. She has been here for almost fourteen years, building relationships and loving people. Though she works in quite tangible ways in the Kwejuna (or survival) Project which is for moms and babies with HIV/AIDs, she is best known for her work with people, especially people who are at the fringes. Some of her best friends here include old widows, a mentally disturbed man, and very poor children.
The sick woman, Martha, (not her real name) is one such friend. A widowed mom of two young children, Martha has struggled for several years with the basics of life for her children and with the battle to care for them counter-culturally here. Pat has provided for many of her needs and supported her through that time. In a culture where remarriage means abandoning her kids ( children belong to the father or his family not to the mother), Martha has struggled to stay present for her children. Somewhere along the way she was “given the gift” of HIV. Now, having kept it hidden for a very long time, Martha finds herself in what has been diagnosed as stage 4 AIDS. She is a very sick woman. What started as a bout with malaria has developed into a fight for her life. Over the last few weeks I have watched Pat care for Martha in her home. Dropped in to visit and seen Pat help Martha to her chair, help her to bathe, feed her comfort foods and pray with her. Martha sleeps in Pat’s room when she’s not admitted to the hospital for more IV’s or blood (when it’s available) but she’s really hovering between life and death right now.
The greatest prayer on Pat’s heart is that Martha would fully internalize the truths of the gospel during this time. That she would see her full dependence on Jesus and embrace her weakness and His strength. Culturally here there is a lot of dependence on our own good works. I have been so moved to watch Pat really love Martha with all that she is. She aches for her, grieves with her and feels her pain. Please pray that Martha would feel the love of Jesus during this time and fall into His arms. And pray that Pat would know more fully the greatness of her God and trust Him for all of Martha’s needs, spiritually and physically. The greatest losers in all of this are the children. K and L are sweet, bright little girls with big hearts and big potential. They are only 7 and 5 years old. Pray for their futures.
HIV/AIDS is frightening, sickening, saddening. As I have watched Martha suffer I have spent time thinking about and grieving for a family member whose life was taken by this virus during my childhood. I have cried and grieved again for his suffering, his loss of dignity as sickness took over his life. And I have grieved for my inadequate response to him, my inability to move toward him in love and embrace him fully, my fear.