One of the difficult things about the life we’ve been called to, is expectations. I think I alluded to this in the post about luggage. As I’ve continued to ask God to show me truth and meet me in the needy places, I’ve seen more and more that the only expectations that matter are HIS.

Locals have expectations. My friends and family have expectations. You supporters have expectations. The mission has expectations. The team has expectations. The staff at school has expectations. I have many, many expectations for myself. In reality though, the expectations of only one, matter at all. What are HIS expectations??

Most importantly to remember, and to clearly state here, God can not be disappointed by me. He knows me in my weakness, in my inability to do what He calls me to do, what He wants me to do. Yet He can empower me (if I am willing) to do all that He calls me to do. It might involve a lot of saying no. It might involve disappointing many people. It might mean working behind the scenes sometimes and on the front lines at others. His work is the work I am called to, whatever it is.
Can you see the answers to prayer here? Last year I was burnt out, stressed out, over-busy, over-tired and ill. Last year I was loving what I did but barely able to keep up. My children and husband and I were experiencing the normal crisies of transition as a family. We have cried out to God. And you have cried out to God for us. And here I am. Crying because I don’t always get to do what I like best, but in so much of a healthier place. I am following His call even when it’s hard to see and hear. My family is FIRST in my ministry now. My relationships with my husband and kids are growing, strong, healthy.
I hope my transparency is of some use to you. I write this clearly, this closely to my heart, because I want to open my heart to the fear of expectations. Perhaps I will change, perhaps this is a season, perhaps God will soon give me work I like better or change my heart to like this work better. All of that is up to Him. And in the process I’m okay with disappointing the expectations of many, hardest of all of myself. Because the one who really matters is NOT disappointed.