Late yesterday Quinn and AJ were hidden off in a corner of the yard. They both had big sticks. I called Quinn in and we began to wash the days dirt off his legs and arms and face and well, everywhere – a pound must have come off of him! I asked him what they were doing with their sticks. Quinn’s sweet one-dimpled smile quirked up at me halo-ed by golden curls – ” Mom, if you haven’t noticed, boys LIKE sticks.”

I don’t want to stereotype because I’m sure there are many types of boys in the world, but this one certainly likes sticks. I have gotten in trouble many times for innocently tossing away a small stubby stick that was serving real purpose in Quinn’s play – mostly as weapons or tools. Quinn also loves to problem solve, to fix things, to climb and run and jump and swing upside down by one leg. I just put up a wooden trapeze bar for him and he has invented new tricks with it, including upside-down-light-saber-sword-fighting . . . . Which resulted in a fall on the head!

I remember when Quinn was a tiny little man – still a baby – and David had been reading a book about boys with one of his friends. The book talked about how boys have a need one day to separate emotionally from their mothers so that they can move into their manhood. And that if at that point, their mothers cling to them, they never move into their manhood well. I wasn’t sure what I thought of that idea at the time; but now I can see it happening. I can see Quinn moving sweetly away from me and into his manhood – small though he is. With me around, he is quietly independent- playing for hours with sand, stones and trees. The moment David arrives home Quinn is all over him – ” Dad, do you think we need to fix something? Dad can I help you with your taxes on the computer? Dad, if you are going to the mission to talk to Beewah, can I go with you?” Those two are inseparable; from their morning snuggles to Narnia stories to fixing the kerosene fridge and filing online taxes.

Quinn still favors me with his kind nature and love – on his own terms and in his own time. I can almost always get morning hugs and late afternoon cuddles and talks. He likes me to bathe and dress him, to help him clean up and to do art and puzzles and mazes with him. It is clear that he craves me in special ways that no one else can respond to. And so I can delight in his growing, delight in the boy-man that he is and the full-man he will someday be. And thank God every day that he has my husband’s life to watch and to grow into. It takes a man to make a man.