Tomorrow David and I leave on a whirlwind trip over the mountains to Fort Portal where we will deliver KC-dog to his new potential home. We inherited KC with Christ School and we have loved him dearly for his faithfulness, loyalty and the great sense of security that his size and bark give. Unfortunately he has a habit of biting and has bit enough people over the last few months to make it unhealthy for him to continue staying in a school environment. Since we so highly recommend him as a family dog, he is being taken in by a mission family in Fort Portal who have a large fenced back yard area which is not accessed by visitors. Hurrah! KC loves people and is fiercely loyal. We hope and pray this will be a long-term home for him.
The kids will stay with the Masso family while David and I drop off KC and visit two big secondary schools in the Fort Portal area. We hope that visiting other schools will help us to understand more about the educational culture in Uganda and learn more about what does and doesn’t work here. We’ll also have a chance to meet with some of the church leaders in the Fort Portal area who have a close connection with the school, thereby forming new relationships that can help education continue to grow on both sides of the mountain. We’ll get a dinner with friends, Bob and Jennifer, our Fort Portal team mates and a night alone away alone together. Plus we’ll run some much needed errands. It might be exhausting but it could also be a great time of building vision and investing in each other, together away from the constant crisies of school.

And constant those crisies have been! This last week I have had that feeling you get when a big wave takes you under. You know you won’t die but you can’t find top or bottom, your mouth is filled with water and you are powerless for the moment. The week has flown by in a whirlwind of changes, emergencies and new discoveries. I feel both exhausted and exhilerated. I have started many posts but finished none, but hopefully by next week I’ll get more news out to you all. I think this trip comes at the perfect time. And so we whirl away over the mountains for two half a days and a night then return to the intern’s goodbye party and another round of farewells.

In the traditional “introductions” Ugandan ceremony, Scotticus and Jane experienced an early per-matrimony last week. Ugandan women are often bought and sold in more primitive Ugandan regions and the introductions are a time when the man “pays for” his woman with goats, miscellaneous gifts (think crates and crates of beer and soda) and respect. It is a time that symbolizes the man’s accomplishment of achieving this woman. The woman’s family makes the man work hard to pass this final of all hurdles on the way to marriage.

Of course for Scott and Jane there is no buying or selling, no bargaining or purchasing. Scott and Jane have won each other through mutual respect, trust and commitment. And we who joined as a team to welcome Jane here, can see how very well God planned for them both. So our ceremony was a way to have fun, to laugh, to celebrate culture in a not-so-serious way, to commemorate, as Scott’s Ugandan family, this very great milestone in his life.

The evening included David MC’ing as Scott was delayed time after time in his attempts to locate where his soon-to-be bride Jane might be. Later on we had the “finding” ceremony where multiple women come out clothed from head to toe and Scott has to figure out which one is Jane. Scott picked WRONG! due to a clever trick by Pat, switching the bride’s shoes with Julia’s! Poor Scott, more heavy fines ensued by the “parents” of the bride.

We feasted on a wonderful Ugandan dinner and sent the kids on a scavenger hunt at night through CSB grounds (well chaperoned of course) where the gatekeeper, among others, handed out their clues. Coming back between clues the kids performed in Scotticus’s honor; 10 nutritious foods beginning with B, 5 songs about frogs, 3 questions to stump Master Scott (who was their teacher last year). In the end, it was the kids who received the prizes, not Jane’s faux family, as Scott and Jane handed out American treats to all the missionary families - yay for gummy worms and chocolate!!

The evening ended with pumpkin cake, a memorable conglomeration of all the famous speeches made special just for Scotticus, by Dr. Scott, and a reading of scripture by Beewah. It was a night to remember, a night to drink in. God gives us good gifts in the people around us and we are thankful that He has gifted Scott and Jane with each other.

Ashley rallied team women and some CSB female staff for the CSB girls’ first semi-official match. The team has begun making remarkable progress and it was a great chance for all of us to invest in them, thank Ashley and have some fun! We spent two hours running around in the heat and sun and narrowly managing to avoid being completely defeated by the CSB girls. Meanwhile other team mates came to watch, take pictures, or ride bikes around the CSB track. And CSB kids showed up in small groups to cheer on the girls and laugh at us missionary women! I hope this can become a new once-a-month tradition.

Naomi gathered girls onto our porch over the weekend. She has discovered that CSB girls love the chance to handcraft. And wisely, she’s putting that to good use, in the form of new doll clothing for her American Girl dolls. Naomi’s two American Girl dolls have surely been a wonderful investment, and now we see another way that they are enhancing life, through the opportunity given to these girls and to Naomi, to enter each others’ worlds for a few hours at a time.

Girls gathered on our porch, seated on mats, and began digging through our trunk of scrap fabrics and creating ever cuter fashion designs for the 18 inch dolls. Naomi supervised, tried on the dresses on the dolls, and generally basked in the attention. The girls took delight in this break from reading, studying and being IN school. While Naomi delighted in time spent with the big girls.

Interestingly, because dolls aren’t common here, and those that are here are cheap and poorly made, American Girl dolls never cease to amaze the locals when Naomi carries them around. Most imagine that it must be a real child and stare wonderingly at it when they finally realize it is not. One time Naomi dropped her doll in a circle of family homes, and one mother actually dove to catch it! Then laughed shamefacedly as it landed stiffly on the ground without a sound!

Yesterday at our CSB staff meeting, David asked staff to talk about how we discipline students and why. What does the process look like to them and what should the results inwardly and outwardly be. As usual, it was a fascinating peek into culture, traditions, and personal beliefs. I love hearing what staff have to say about what students need. What is most interesting is to see how similar it is to parenting world-over. Most people want what’s best for their kids and work hard to make them turn out well. Unfortunately much of the time our energy is focusing the wrong way, but the heart-intention is often good.

When David talked about “thinking like a student”, trying to put ourselves in the students shoes, teachers responded with ” you can’t take me back to the student level.” With this simple statement vast values were implied. Ugandan school culture, based on the British traditional system, demands earning knowledge from the holders (teachers). It demands hard work and suffering culminating in an advancement from student to graduate. There is an idea of working hard, undergoing much hardship, and through the hardship itself,earning the right to adulthood. There is no going back or feeling sorry for those not yet where you are. As we have suffered, so they should suffer; is the concept.

Some staffers talked wisely about the “rehabilitative process” that many of our students are undergoing - surprising me with their grasp of the connection between behavior problems and early life trauma. Many of our students have seen their parents killed or lost siblings to machetes - how does that affect them? I hope and pray in future that we will develop more resources to deal with student trauma. Others talked about the cleverness of students; “they are organizing on how to disorganize us!!” was how they put it. I LOVE it. One man, from the N. Uganda, gave a traditional proverb to sum up the problems he sees in CSB’s student discipline. He said that we should not punish students “like a dog that gives birth and then runs away” but instead we should have follow through and consistency in our discipline. Well put.

For me, listening to this discussion gave both new hope and new fear. Some teachers strongly demanded caning (corporal punishment, usually severe) as the only discipline that will work. No matter that it’s against Uganda’s law, most schools practice it and many teachers wish we would too. All of this leads to more good discussion. Does caning work? How can we tell if discipline is “working”? What is the outcome of helpful discipline? What are our goals? What methods will help us get there? Yesterday’s prompted me to want a two day on-site seminar to discuss the concepts. Not with the goal of fixing the problems but with the goal of beginning as a group, to understand the processes. To understand the difference between punishment and discipline. To understand the difference between fear-based behavior change and heart-based attitude change. These are difficult concepts in any setting, in any country and with any group of people. Yet here where our children have such hard lives, even more important.

I love the new quote in our blog header - and it’s one I definitely need to hear. We arrived home today amid my desperate longing to ABANDON the work of CSB leadership. I did NOT want to come home.

Two days away in the beauty of Kichwamba was wonderful but I felt we needed a little longer, especially considering the grueling five hour drive over difficult roads each way. I had horrible dreams throughout our time there, no release from the spiritual attack, and Naomi badly chipped one of her front teeth leading to emergency calls to the only American dentist in Uganda. (she’s okay but will need significant dental work when we hit the city in August.) Unfortunately, amidst all the uncertainty and instability in our region and at Christ School, it wasn’t a good time to prolong our stay. I left this morning because my husband told me it was time, but my heart was not in it. And neither is his.

The work is important and perhaps it is in the fear of not being able to complete it that the enticement to abandonment comes. Still He is the completer of all things. So tomorrow we begin another week - a full day of staff and leadership meetings, a full day of students. A day of facing Babwisi men who don’t respect me enough to look me in the eyes. A day of learning new things about myself that I’d rather not know. A day of discovering new lows in our finances and of scraping together the faith to believe that we do not labor in vain. Surely I dramatize our woes, but tonight I feel them.

“The healing path does not lead directly to healing, but to engagement. First, we are called by God into relationship with him. We are also called into service for him. To serve God is to bring our story to him and allow our life themes to make God’s story known to others. A radical life begins with the premise that I exist for God and for his purposes, not my own.”
-Dan Allendar

I meet weekly by phone with named Patty, a woman who listens to my heart and reflects back to me. Patty is a missionary counselor who I met while in South Africa. She’s a treasure. She doesn’t always say what I want to hear, but she continues to point me to God. Last night when we met, instead of wanting to hear about my issues, she wanted to remind me that telling God my issues, listing my issues, or thinking through my issues in a sensitive and thoughtful way, though important, is not the meat of my relationship with God. My question, ” Who is God, REALLY?” will not be answered in the course of processing. It will be answered in the Sacred Moments of God’s Spirit meeting my heart. Such times can not be scheduled or checked off a to-do list. Much like romantic times with my husband, romance with God requires time spent soaking him in and a heart ready for whatever He has in mind.

Darn.

I like the quote above which I stumbled upon this morning in a Scotty Smith book. The road to healing leads to engagement and engagement leads to service. Service leads us to letting our life stories tell His story to others.

In our weekly prayer meeting this week I talked about glimpses of redemption in my life. Things that God is using to show me, however briefly, a glimpse of what he’s up to, what His Story is about and how my story gives a little foretaste to the world around me. It’s funny how often I realize the many things in life that have NOT prepared me for this job. I never played sports as a girl, just horseback riding which in no way helps me to relate to students here. While some people come with gifts in volleyball, basketball or soccer to share with our students. I don’t. I don’t yet play the guitar though I long to, and brought one back with me. So I don’t share the gift of worship leading or teaching new songs as many others here do. I have no experience with debate. I am not a gifted hand crafter. What AM I good at?

I am good with people, I think. I walked around campus again last night passing out some orphan letters that arrived by email. I was really touched to see faces of students appearing hopefully out classroom windows or around doors - big boys and big girls wistfully checking to see if they are the recipients of a letter this time. If you haven’t sent your mail, please do! I love bringing joy to people, cementing relationships, hearing people’s stories and sharing my own. I think I do people somewhat well.

And I’ve begun to see that it’s a gift that I DON’T have so many other interests and abilities. Being a full time soccer coach or teacher or choir leader would invest my heart and time into a small group of people. Instead with my love for people I am able to invest into a whole lotta’ them. I can walk around campus giving out a touch here and there, sampling a plate of food, admonishing students who are being too rowdy. I can encourage a staff member to start the choir that I have begun to see he is gifted to lead. I can admire the handwork of some of the women staff. I can peak at inventory in the kitchen while sharing casual conversation with the manager about her son. I get a chance to see the big picture, which is something else I do well and to look for improvements in processes and procedures as well as gestures of love.

David said recently that on the submarines (he worked as a Naval sub officer for a number of years), when in crisis, the executive officer would stay in the command room to manage the crisis from there while the chief engineer would go to the scene of the crisis to manage from there. But the real bottleneck was usually between the two areas. Things might not be going well in the crisis area but these two officers often couldn’t tell why because the problem was elsewhere in the ship. David made it his job at one point to pinpoint crisies outside the problem area and relieve them. He told me that’s the way he sees me here. I am not in a specific position of leadership so I am free to move around relieving stress, spotting bottlenecks, providing movement and flow. I like that job.

So, whatever your talents, I’m encouraging you to let your story shine because it tells His Story. Too many people hide their stories, focusing on their ability, because they can. But our stories are beautiful, despite the pain and sadness, and they lead us to admire the One who created each of us and has a whole lot more in mind for our lives than we can possibly imagine. Look for glimpses of redemption all around you and be amazed as you see God at work.

David spent more hours yesterday trying to pinpoint all the details of food budgeting. Our food prices are rising astronomically along with the rest of the world’s. The Global Food Crisis is certainly hitting us here as items that we use in large quantities, such as maize flower (cooked up as breakfast porridge in hundreds of cups daily) have doubled in price. That hurts. We’re tightening our belts farther. Schools all over Uganda are adding surcharges for feeding or requiring parents to bring rice and beans along with their children. Since we exist to SERVE the poorest of the poor we don’t see surcharges as a very good option for our families who are already hit even harder than us by the food crisis. We are trying to think creatively about menu shifting (to cheaper food items which are still nutritious where possible) and creative buying options.

David spent still more time at government offices in Bundibugyo tracking down a water tank and reimbursement for football costs. He arrived home just in time for chapel where our deputy Were taught the students. Then it was more meetings for food issues, budgeting issues, issues related to the loss of funds from last week’s theft. He arrived home at six, exhausted and discouraged. One step forward, ten steps back. This is the first job I’ve seen David in that can actually get him down - no doubt it’s the spiritual component of oppression and attack.

Home wasn’t a reprieve as water had overflowed from our ceiling tank flooding through one ceiling so David went up to the rat-filled attic to deal with the water. By the time he was ready for his shower, a staff member showed up to tell him that staff were quietly striking by refusing to eat their food at dinner - due to issues with staff food the last few days. And the kitchen manager showed up to ask; what should I do?? A huge fire flared up a few minutes later on the other side of the fence and David biked over to investigate. The newspapers here have been reporting that recent school fires in Kampala have been linked to the ADF, a rebel group that has recently been moving in our area and which comes over the border from Congo. So we are on the alert for suspicious sounds and sights, not the least of which is fire.

David did finally get his dinner - and a none too shabby one either, including home made coffee ice cream and chocolate chip/craisin/pecan cookies (I’ve got to cheer him up somhow!) But it was out again for problem solving power issues during evening preps when David discovered that someone had shut off a breaker in the power room, shorting the system temporarily.

Today we leave for a few days away with the team near Queen Elizabeth National Park. We are ready for the break but hesitant to leave. With nearby rebel movements, power, food and water issues, and last night’s teacher issues, we feel concerned. Yet we know we badly need this break and possibly even a quick trip to Kampala to check my thyroid levels as I have been extremely tired again. Pray for us to rest well, pray for the school to run smoothly in our absence. Pray for our hearts to grow in faith.