Adoption has been a life-long dream. And since Naomi was an infant in my arms I have had the distinct understanding that someday I will adopt two dark skinned children, that their lives and ours are inextricably linked. That I am waiting to step into this destiny. I have been sure for the last eight years that those two children will come to me; that they were designed from before the beginning of time to be carried in the womb of one mother and walked through much of life by another. Someday, I believe, I will receive into my arms the treasures of a woman’s heart, her very lifeblood in the form of two small and fearful children. And for the rest of time, they will carry my heart around in their growing bodies, opening me to new fears and joys, pain and delight. Giving me more heartache and happiness than I dare to imagine.

Over the last few weeks I have had a growing sense that my children are coming “soon.” Soon is a relative term when you have been waiting eight years. I would need sure signs from God to bring new children into our family during this time of transition and instability. I would need permission from our mission agency too. All I know though, is that none of this is mine to fix or figure or find solutions to. He brought us here to Christ School as part of our journey, if His plans for us include two adopted children, He will bring them to us and work out the details too. The journey can include whatever He wants it to. New adopted children may give us longevity here or a shortened stay. If it’s part of the journey He’s called us to; it’s all good.

It’s the oddest sense, though, to be cleaning and sorting a room and to suddenly know that you’re preparing for THEM. To suddenly be surprised by the realization that it seems He may be preparing our home for new little ones. Reading this week through a book about international cultures of childrearing, about parenting around the world, I found a beautiful quote that only increased my longing for these someday-maybe-if-He-wishes children of my heart:

Did they say you were born during hard times? When there was famine drought war disease?
When they had no wealth, no food, no medicines? Did they say you arrived during good times? In a world of calm and abundance? Did they protect you? Abandon you? Embrace you? Neglect you? Cherish you beyond measure?
I hope someday to cherish beyond measure not only my current two amazing children, but two more. Would you pray with us for God’s leading and for our heart-children to find their way home in His perfect timing.