Random thoughts as we leave the field . . . .

We left Bundi this morning.  It felt okay.  I’m sure I’ll cry later.  The kids were definitely sad.  As a mom, each time I see their tears I wonder through the decision to leave, again.  I know there will be lots of wonderings in the next months but for the record let me say: God knows what He’s doing and I’m choosing to get on board with Him.

David said once today to the kids, “bundibugyo, where we used to live” which almost made me angry.  And when talking to a European tourist today I talked about “living in Uganda” which still feels true to me but I realize won’t be true much longer.  It’s a hard hit on my heart.  Living in Uganda is a huge part of who we’ve become.  Who are we anymore? Besides His of course.

I keep acknowledging with each passing day that I would be very surprised if missions work or life in Africa is over for us.  So many signs point that way.  But I want want want to follow His voice, to be led by Him and to enter rest in whatever place He calls us.

The last few days were crazy between visitors, packing and closing the house.  David was mostly at the office or engaged with CSB people so I was on my own to pack up.  I have to comment that I HAVE GROWN A LOT.   I handled it graciously, primarily because God kept sprinkling miracles all around, and I am proud of myself, proud of us, proud of the way we have left.

The team held a sweet goodbye dinner for us and presented us with a lovely place setting gift: kikoi tablecloth and handmade napkins, one from each team mate.  It was sweet and sentimental and practical and beautiful and something that will bring many memories. Perfect.  Anna and Jack and Julia wrote beautiful African Folk Tales in honor of N and Q – they will treasure them always.  And Jennifer wrote a beautiful Lord of the Rings style poetic tribute to us, while Heidi contributed a parody of “give a mouse a cookie” which only we on the Bundi team would get.

This morning as we left we  experienced the Ugandan, “push”, a traditional part of saying goodbye where the friends accompany you on your way.  The farther they “push” you towards home the more they love and respect you.  We felt deeply grateful for this last-minute love by our Ugandan friends and coworkers and by missionaries as well.

So today we moved forward.  Out of Bundibugyo, into Northern, for the sites of Murchison Falls. Accompanied by the Clarks we are truly “pushed”.   Tonight we sleep in the Masindi Hotel, an old colonial style sleepy place that is comfortable and welcoming.  The kids are both sick with colds and occasional vomiting.  David is on the edge of collapse from sheer exhaustion at the lack of sleep.  Tomorrow giraffes on the savannah will revive us with their beauty and my heart will continue it’s sing-song tension between the joy of the moment and the sadness of it all slipping away.  And so many more times I will choose trust over control, faith over fear, love over longing.  HE knows our hearts best.  HE knows the way.  And it’s not just good for others or for his bigger plan, it’s good for us too.