weary warriors
Sitting around the MTI (Mission Training International) fireplace on gathered couches, we sing worship songs with weary abandon. It doesn’t matter who’s watching now, only tired hearts pulled up to the throne to fortify ours souls. A few of us participate while around us other missionaries check email, chat with a friend, or stare off into space. Pre-field we were all ready to join for some singing. Post-field we barely muster the energy or desire. I watch a southern pastor amble by, stop, half-turn towards our singing and then collapse into a nearby couch, eyes shut, to sit in the Presence as we worship. No energy or heart to sing; but a heart full of need for Him. My eyes fill with tears.
We are the weary warriors, the fully-limbed heart-amputees, the survivors of terms of missionary service.
And we have begun the long re-hab process. Grief takes time. Hearts heal slowly. Edward Tulane shows us the way.
Our “field experience” won’t be “over”, ever. We are the forever-changed, the always-not-quite-Americans, the world-lovers who have and will pay a price. And we are grateful.
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