Yei, South Sudan. Hot, hot, HOT.  Dry and dusty.  Beautiful people;  some characteristically tall, thin and leggy, others not so different from the Babwisi. DARK skin.  SPLA soldiers in the large barracks.  UN peacekeepers standing guard from their compound towers.  A largish town composed primarily of soldiers and foreign aid.  No tarmac anywhere.  Savannah brush landscape; ugly at first glance but slowly more beautiful.

The ministry we visited.  Simply functional. Refreshingly non-dependent on the missionaries.  Orphan care in a new context; radical dependence on Jesus.  Organic church planting and a nation-wide church network. Pastoral training and care.  Education and a vision for skills-training.  Motherless baby feeding in the name of Jesus.  A vision for an entire nation.  Three steps for daily ministry: Get alone with Jesus, ask Him what He’s doing, Go and join.

We enjoyed a simpler life in the “I” ministry we visited in Yei.  Our tents were set up in the middle of the orphan village compound so eighty-nine children worked and played around us during our two days.  We ate local food three times a day including the familiar posho together with a new green which we enjoyed as well as beans and meat.  The resident kids are well-fed and joyful, you should have seen them run for their three-times-a-week vitamins!  We were surprised by their happy demeanors and by their good behavior.  The olders help the youngers and they really do live like family.   They seem eager both to play circle songs, football and construct play mud houses as well as to worship Jesus, recite their memory verses and listen to Bible stories.  Each day they meet for worship in the evenings; a spontaneous time of song and prayer led by the children themselves.  And daily they can be seen working on their verses together.  They join in cleaning the compound and themselves; though often imperfectly!

Jennie, a sweet former MK, now missionary, hosted us in Yei and was a wonderful guide and friend during our time there.  Reaching Kampala again on Thursday evening we had an opportunity to meet with the director of the Sudan project and hear her heart and vision for their work in this large and troubled country.   The vision is BIG, BEAUTIFUL, and authentically reflects the heart of Jesus.

For the year ahead we will join this team in the best way we know how: PRAYER.  As all of Sudan waits for 2011 with it’s history-making decisions and reactions we join Sudanese, “I” ministries and God’s people around the world in forming an ark of prayer that will provide rescue and salvation in the face of whatever may come.

Unbathed from three days of camping we headed to a ministry site for a chance to meet some folks who are interested in our joining their team. We spent a very brief day and half just south of Gulu, looking at a project that seeks to restore Northern Uganda and it’s people through orphan care, education, evangelism and discipleship, business opportunities, agriculture and medical and dental care and teaching. It’s an ambitious (to put it mildly) project and it’s only just beginning.

Though the site is remote by many standards (off the grid, 40 minutes from a decent town) it’s hard for us too feel “in the bush” when there is a paved road just ten minutes from the team housing. Has Bundibugyo spoiled us?? Will other ministry sites seem as dramatic, as exciting, as intense?? The Nile surrounds the acreage of the ministry on three sides, though and we got to walk down to see a water snake swimming in great River. Crocs and hippos come onshore on their land and a very impressive python skin was rolled up in one team house. Mamma Rose, an orphan caregiver, told me to sing when I walked near the river so that the pythons would know to hide! “RG” needs help in many, MANY ways, one of which is a primary school for their orphan children who may soon number 240 and vocational schools for nearby kids. So they ask us to consider joining their ministry and we agree to pray.

Now here in Jinja with long-time friends the Massos, we delve into development philosophy with Michael (and Karen when she’s willing!). We talk about the needs and our gifts. We talk about how to do development, about aid mentality, about when projects have too much money and too few people and vice versa. We talk about the joys and hardships of working long-term and the needs of short-termers. They are planting a new team in Sudan and so all of these questions are fresh and relevant to them too. David and I are enjoying the time here in Uganda to look at other ministries.

In some ways it is the first step both in pondering what Bundibugyo was for us and how it has shaped us and in what God may be asking us to do next. We dream, we imagine the roles we feel most gifted in, we think about what we’d never want to do again. The questions of development, of providing physical, emotional and spiritual support to the poorest and most abused in the world are HUGE questions. There are many answers and few are clearly right or wrong. That’s why we’re so grateful that we have the Teacher, Encourager and Comforter, the Spirit who will show us where to go, how to speak and what to do. On our own we have little hope of plugging into a “good fit” ministry, of finding a place that is both challenging and possible. Yet with the guidance of God we can dream of accomplishing the impossible and of loving it as we do.

So many thoughts and ideas rolls through our heads. I don’t even know how to summarize them here. But it all begins and ends with this: HE will plan the way ahead. HIS dreams for us are better than any we know for ourselves. Just as HE knew the last four years in Bundi were for our good and the good of His kingdom, so He has new plans now. While there are many questions there is little fear. It’s so exciting to wonder what’s on the road beyond BGO, for us.

Leaving behind the world of CSB (despite the texts which track us wherever we go!) we entered the world of camping.  John and Loren are the first friends who have not only hosted us camping but actually taught us to love it too.  The other few we have camped with have supplied food and fun and kept us in TP and bedding but never convinced us (especially David) to come back and try it again! But all of us agreed today that it is John and Loren’s interest in teaching us, their willingness to let us try and to answer many dumb questions that let us catch their “bug” for the wilderness life.

The first night past Masindi was on the south side of the park in the “Shoebill Campsite” named after a rare kind of bird found in Murchison Park.  After a long day on the road and a hike up to Murchison falls (gloriously powerful) we were hotter than hot.  Northern Uganda is about five to ten degrees warmer than where we are and boy do you FEEL IT. Fortunately we found a cool spot to swim and spent an hour or two cooling off with drinks and dives.  Then back to the campsite for dinner accompanied by attempts by baboons to steal what they could!  The night was uneventful though the site insisted on a night guard for the camp.

In the morning we packed up and headed to the car ferry which took us across the Nile to the north side of Murchison park where most of the game is located.  We drove for several hours through the park trails spotting elephants, giraffes, oraby and hartebeest.  Around lunch time we reached our campsite, the bush camp in the middle of the park.  Located on the delta between Lake Albert and the Nile the site is simply a bit of the park itself and has no signs or markers and is noticeable only by the charred fire rings.  Lake grasses ran all around our camp site which had beautiful views of the water.  The UWA armed ranger we were required to keep with us at all times suggested that we set up our tents well away from the high grasses which shelter predators, allowing them closer than  we would like without being able to see them. (hard to forget that we have snack-sized children)

The afternoon was hot and hotter and since we had only drinking water we made a trip down to the Nile to pull up a cooler full of green water for washing dishes and hands.  Does this really make you CLEANER?, we wondered.  After cooking meat and veggies for dinner we headed out as darkness set in for a night game drive to spot the noctornal animals.  Our mission turned up a few small foxes and weasels but nothing else until we were almost back at the camp site and spotted a leopard running across the road just a little ways from where we would sleep!!  As always in the game parks, nights are filled with sounds of hippos and other wild animals but we did not have visits from lions in the night.

The next day brought another long morning game drive.  Sitting with John, Loren and Brian on top of our car we cruised through morning’s cool stillness and stopped for a potty break.  Brian silhouetted against the savanah, his tiny white self against the big colorful wildness that is Africa – peeing.  This is our children’s lives; sometimes most startling in the ordinary.

We are so thankful for these few days with the Clark composed of few deep conversations but much shared communal work and quietness in nature.   Sometimes there is little left to say when you have experienced together so much. We will hold this time close, cherished, until we meet them again ” on the other side” for the birth of their baby in June.  Another thing Africa has given us; new American friends we will keep forever.

Random thoughts as we leave the field . . . .

We left Bundi this morning.  It felt okay.  I’m sure I’ll cry later.  The kids were definitely sad.  As a mom, each time I see their tears I wonder through the decision to leave, again.  I know there will be lots of wonderings in the next months but for the record let me say: God knows what He’s doing and I’m choosing to get on board with Him.

David said once today to the kids, “bundibugyo, where we used to live” which almost made me angry.  And when talking to a European tourist today I talked about “living in Uganda” which still feels true to me but I realize won’t be true much longer.  It’s a hard hit on my heart.  Living in Uganda is a huge part of who we’ve become.  Who are we anymore? Besides His of course.

I keep acknowledging with each passing day that I would be very surprised if missions work or life in Africa is over for us.  So many signs point that way.  But I want want want to follow His voice, to be led by Him and to enter rest in whatever place He calls us.

The last few days were crazy between visitors, packing and closing the house.  David was mostly at the office or engaged with CSB people so I was on my own to pack up.  I have to comment that I HAVE GROWN A LOT.   I handled it graciously, primarily because God kept sprinkling miracles all around, and I am proud of myself, proud of us, proud of the way we have left.

The team held a sweet goodbye dinner for us and presented us with a lovely place setting gift: kikoi tablecloth and handmade napkins, one from each team mate.  It was sweet and sentimental and practical and beautiful and something that will bring many memories. Perfect.  Anna and Jack and Julia wrote beautiful African Folk Tales in honor of N and Q – they will treasure them always.  And Jennifer wrote a beautiful Lord of the Rings style poetic tribute to us, while Heidi contributed a parody of “give a mouse a cookie” which only we on the Bundi team would get.

This morning as we left we  experienced the Ugandan, “push”, a traditional part of saying goodbye where the friends accompany you on your way.  The farther they “push” you towards home the more they love and respect you.  We felt deeply grateful for this last-minute love by our Ugandan friends and coworkers and by missionaries as well.

So today we moved forward.  Out of Bundibugyo, into Northern, for the sites of Murchison Falls. Accompanied by the Clarks we are truly “pushed”.   Tonight we sleep in the Masindi Hotel, an old colonial style sleepy place that is comfortable and welcoming.  The kids are both sick with colds and occasional vomiting.  David is on the edge of collapse from sheer exhaustion at the lack of sleep.  Tomorrow giraffes on the savannah will revive us with their beauty and my heart will continue it’s sing-song tension between the joy of the moment and the sadness of it all slipping away.  And so many more times I will choose trust over control, faith over fear, love over longing.  HE knows our hearts best.  HE knows the way.  And it’s not just good for others or for his bigger plan, it’s good for us too.

Last night we held a small goodbye party for a few community members.  Since we moved into the CSB gates two years ago we have been too thoroughly swamped with the demands of the school to spend much time outside in the community; teaching, preaching, befriending, visiting.  But from our first year in Uganda, some faithful friends remain.  These include students who have left CSB and are now under our sponsorship elsewhere, an adopted grandmother to our children who gave Naomi one of her favorite gifts EVER – a pet chicken, the old woman who brings us lemons, our house workers and their families, and more.

Folks began to gather at four pm in our beautiful sun-filled yard which had been carefully prepared with thirty backed benches (no small feat to carry though things – but of course David and a few of his staff guys turned it into a competition of strength!) Within a few minutes rain began to fall, though and soon I and three friends were rushing for brooms and wet cloths to hurriedly clean the school auditorium so that we could gather there instead for shelter.

Our “caterers” cooked beef and rice, metooke (mashed boiled banana) and g-nut sauce and sombe and was it ever delicious.  As usual the portions were atrociously large which is ever-so-culturally-appropriate.  I was proud and pleased with the enjoyment these people took in their meal and soda.  And I had to smile when at the end of the meal each person pulled out their black plastic “grocery” style bag and put their family’s leftovers in.  Doggie bags for the next days meal! Though our group felt small and many friends did not reach because of two burials which sadly fell on the same evening, we fed nearly eighty.

Speeches were mercifully brief as representatives of four different kinds of community members spoke: the women’s Biblestudy chairperson for her women, a sponsored student for the alumni, a pastor and a neighbor.  The speeches were simple and not full of extravagant praise but I noticed two things that stood out to me.  One was several comments that the real work of missionaries is preaching the gospel and that the best work we have done here has been in the biblestudy.  It’s an interesting idea that the people themselves prefer evangelism and discipleship to health and educational programs.  And another who said that this is the most disparate group of people to ever be invited to a party; ” has anyone here ever attended such a party as this?’ he asked and they all shook their fingers and wagged their heads ‘no’. The idea was that we had welcomed the unexpected and that blessed my heart.

Amina came in at the end with a tearful speech about Naomi and Quinn which made me too break into tears, safely by this time because darkness was almost upon us.  She spoke of the love our children have for Africans, the joy and spirit with which they embrace friends and neighbors.  She spoke of her amazement at seeing white children who don’t seem to notice color and whose best friends are black.  My heart swelled with thankfulness that all the prayer, talks, monitoring of friendships, welcoming, games, feeding, tears .  . . . All that we have a family have done to help our children live “african” with their friends HAS worked.  And that this has pointed to the incarnational nature of Jesus.  Of course the main point of the speech was to make N and Q smile and smile they did!  They loved hearing their names in the speeches!

We gave out our “snap” (family photo) to all the friends present and David and I concluded with final messages to them.  David spoke from the Psalm; “they that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”  He admitted how hard this journey has been for us and yet his faith that an unknown but large harvest will come from the seeds we have planted.  I spoke on Revelations 21 and the “every tear wiped away, no death, no mourning”.  I told them that I came to live among them as Jesus came to live among us yet I did it imperfectly and brokenly.  I asked forgiveness for all the ways I have hurt them and told them that I wanted to wipe away every tear from their eyes but THERE IS ONLY ONE JESUS.  The room resounded in Amens at this point!  Someone had told me in speeches not to forget them and I said, quoting Isaiah, unless the breastfeeding mother can forget her baby I can’t forget you.  I told them to imagine I had told them that in two months I will be back in Nyahuka and I will come to your home. Would they go to visit another friend?  Would they leave their home dirty and unswept?  No, they all said, they would sweep and cook and then wait for me with their whole heart.  So we will all do for JESUS, I told them.  Watch and wait because he may come before I come.

Friends, food, and the gospel.  That’s what I call an all around good party.

A big rat and his wife!! The big one is the one that has been making my life in the kitchen a bit miserable. I caught him running across my counter after dinner and that was ENOUGH! Chasing him into the kids bedroom we discovered another rat hiding there and killed them both! Someone’s been praying since my last blog post – thanks!

And yes, it does give me such warm fuzzies to think of rats running around in my childlren’s bedroom, especially since Quinn sleeps on the bottom bunk.

Please do pray for Quinn, he really looks a bit miserable. Pray for the medication to have fewer side effects than normal. It takes twenty to thirty days of meds and they are not fun ones, especially as we travel.

It hasn’t been the easiest week.

The fridge isn’t working.

All our tanks are empty so we have no running water.

Our power is extremely low necessitating more rationing than usual.

Rats still rule in the stove workings.

David and I both feel cruddy.

And Quinn seems to have picked up an intestinal ameoba which explains several months of gradually worsening stomachaches and more recently serious pain and lack of appetite as well as a swollen belly.

Add this to CSB handover work, visitors, clean out, attempts at packing, cooking with marginal fridge, oven, water and the nevver-ending war against dust, dirt and insects and you’ll appreciate that we’re a bit tired.

Thanks for praying.

To post this!

From Quinn:

We’re leaving that soon?? The 24th?? This month??? AWWWWWW, MOM, I don’t WANT to leave Uganda. It’s my country!

From Naomi:

I’m trying to get my feet used to closed shoes so I will be ready for America. But they sure are uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll just wait till I get there.

From Quinn:

So what’s TV? Is TV different than a movie?? Is it like at the ARA? (american club where we watch cartoon channel in Kampala)

From Quinn:

You mean in America you have to wear shoes ALL THE TIME?? Even in the stores??

From Dad:

Do you know that Cairo has the only McDonalds in upper Africa? And we’re going there in a few weeks.

From Mom:

We’re only going to pack clothes that are decent enough to wear in America; you know clean and without holes or bleach stains . . . . Hmmm . . . . Well, I guess we don’t really have any clothes like that. Oh well, just pack your favorites.

From Quinn:

Mom make sure you bring sombe (pounded cassava leaves) to America with you, since it’s my favorite food.

From Mom:

I’m determined to shave off every pound of packing weight. We don’t need hardly any of this stuff anyway.

From Naomi:

What’s a microwave?

From Mom:

Speak proper English Naomi and Quinn; your Gramma will kill me if she hears you talking like that when we get to America.

From Quinn to a Ugandan friend:

Of course we COULD come back to Uganda. There are two ways we would come back to Uganda: if God told us to or if God said we could pick anywhere we want to go. THEN we would go back to Uganda.

From Annelise:

I know, let’s start a cocoa processing plant in Bundibugyo! We’d provide jobs and avail the world of organic fair trade chocolate all at the same time! I think it’s our destiny.

ojhb

I don’t seem to manage blog posts these days though there’s so much to say.  So i’ll just summarize here.

1) Hair raising trip to the village to have sodas and boiled eggs with friends Milton and Peninah.  The road was terrible on the way there and THEN it poured during our visit.  The ride back was the closest thing to total wipe out that I have experienced.  THe kind of ride that makes you say Praise the Lord fervently when you reach the good dirt road. And you know it was bad when all the Ugandans in the back seat say “AMEN” loud and clear.

2) motorcycling up to Kalindi with a friend to visit another friend.  Heading up and down, up and down the road in a fruitless attempt to find her home which I remember so clearly as being ” next to the other mud hut in the kind big village.”  Smelling alcohol on the breath of our 17 year old driver and sitting three to a cycle so close that I feel awfully familiar with this young stranger.   Finally home two hours later, windblown and dusty, never even found the ladies house, had a lot of fun.

3) Baking lessons with two staff/wife friends.  Trying out cassava bread and laughing at the awful dirty-feet stink it made in the house (seriously people, do not try this at home).  Cooking eggplant parmesan straight from the garden and enjoying it with friends.  Washing dishes together.  Eating our bread together with hot tea.  Trying again the next day.  Dreaming with them about a bakery business.

4) Conversing with a young man who took a terrible turn when he picked up a drug habit at CSB this past year.  Talk about feeling like a failure – how I feel we have failed M.  But several months later, after a serious change in habits and reinvigorated walk with God I meet up with M and find him childish again, grinning and bashful and proud.  Redemption?

5) Tears falling down the cheeks of T.B who is a young man and would never shame himself by crying – except he is so desparate.  Trying to explain to him that our leaving isn’t the end.  Trying to teach him what little of faith we know.

6) Packing and finding our commissioning video from Mariners.  Watching with friends and shouting in amazement at the beautiful faces of so many old friends.  Realizing that I’d forgotten how many people know us and love us in America.  Feeling less alone in the transition.  Smiling at the thought of the hugs.

7) RATS – Ruwenzori Adventure Training School.  Naomi and Quinn’s alternative to RMS during our final two weeks is RATS; an all-Ugandan time of exploration and discovery with Anna.  They learn each day about stars and tadpoles and cocoa and weaving and anything else Miss Anna can come up with.  And they get to bring Ephraim along which makes it all so much more fun.

My heart flows freely between excitement at going “home”, anticipation for our future, and expectation of experiences ahead to grief, loss, fear, sadness, hurt, overwhelm.  One moment I am grinning, the next crying.  My poor friends just have to hold me through it.  Two weeks left.  Can my heart bear this place of change?

From Quinn:

We’re leaving that soon?? The 24th??  This month??? AWWWWWW, MOM